Ugly

I don't get dressed enough.  When I was pregnant I was too huge to fit into any of my clothes, so I started buying newer, comfier clothes that would fit me.  These comfier clothes didn't require makeup or doing my hair.  It was nice but now I think it's time for a change and I don't have an excuse anymore other than just being lazy.  I need to start taking better care of myself.  I'm getting old or at least older and someday I won't have the ability to look pretty with makeup on so I've decided I'm going to try to "get ready" everyday this week.  It's already 12:30pm and I just barely took a shower, put some jeans on, and pulled a lot of hair out of my head with my brush (while simultaneously brushing the tangles out too!).  I don't plan on putting on a ton of makeup, maybe just some mascara and something to make my face not look so OLD.  Ugh! I'm so tired of getting older. Enough already!

I feel kind of bad for my husband.  Poor Timmy.  When we met, I was always wearing makeup.  I would come home from work with stage makeup minus 6 hours of sweating and on my days off, after sleeping in for the first half of the day, I would get ready, do my hair and head out the door with him.  We haven't even been married a year and I've already stopped being pretty.  I do factor in that we have a baby now and that there aren't too many places to go out and look pretty, but I confess I've been selfish expecting him to appreciate and worship my plain face and grubby mommy clothes.  And yes, it is too late.  He's stuck with me and I think being prettier would probably help delay the inevitable sucking of the romance out of our lives.

Ok. I'm just going to come out and say it.  I've been feeling UGLY.  Not just on the outside but the inside too.  I did feel pretty last week friday when I got dressed and did a gig at turtle bay.  Oh that's a funny story:


I got asked to dance at turtle bay from 7-9 in the new lounge/bar area in the lobby.  It's an easy $50 and even better it's fun too.  It was a little awkward because there were a bunch of guys there and they were drunk and shouting at me from across the lobby to come and have a drink with them.  I was happy that I wasn't dancing right in front of them, until the manager came and said we were dancing in the wrong spot and needed to go dance in front of the people drinking.  So we moved right in front of the shouting drunkards.  It was a little flattering the first time #1DrunkieFan said I was beautiful, but after that it kind of got embarrassing and then a little annoying.  Then he started pulling out his phone and trying to take pictures of me. Hahahaha.  Long story short.  Two days later I was on twitter and Jenn had sent me this picture.

Ok. So I don't feel as ugly when I think about that friday.  I got to wear a very pretty hula dress that my girlfriend let me borrow AND wear a full face of makeup with lashes too!  And I had drunk people telling me I'm pretty.  BUT the three days following it were spent in my pajamas.  I didn't leave the house except once on saturday evening and then I finally stepped out again late monday night.  Light bulb. Eureka.  OK. So now I've realized after doing this little recap that I'm feeling ugly because I haven't left the house in the past 4 days.  I did visit Jenn last night, in my pajamas.  So now I'm going to stop blahblah-ing and finish getting ready.  The little king is going to wake from his nap soon and I think we'll go for a drive.  Plus, I'm hungry!

Tim comes home tomorrow and I'm so excited!  Need to get out of this STUPID ugly funk.